Baguettes, policemen on rollerblades, and hookers who work by day - Paris has it all, writes Australian expatriate Jimi Goninan.
Following a chance encounter with a beautiful Frenchman at a Paris gym while holidaying a few years ago, my life has never been the same. After a few trans-global visits, and quite a bit of agonising later, Paris has become my new home.
Moving to a new city is never an easy prospect, especially when it’s on the other side of the world. Nonetheless, with a smattering of French and the well wishes of family and friends, I was Paris-bound. Ah, the things one does for love!
It could have been a lot worse. Luckily, I had my own personal tour guide on hand to help me ease into the many quirks of Parisian life. It’s true that the place is full of rude and arrogant people - they’re mostly tourists, for whom I now also have disdain.
The French, in general, are lovely, as long as you make some sort of effort to speak their language. Even a ‘bonjour monsieur’ will do, though generally this does work best if actually said to a man!
Our apartment is centrally located, on the fifth floor, without an elevator (my arse has never been perkier) and a quick stroll to the station for the Eurostar, and the Marais, the main gay ghetto of Paris - a delightful area in central Paris where you can sit and watch the world strut by.
Paris is one of the gayest places I’ve ever lived; as my husband often says, “I’m not gay, just French”. There is absolutely no concept of subtlety at all. You’re left in no doubt as to the interest of others – whether in the street, at the gym, in the museums or walking round churches, everyone is fair game.
Speaking of the gym, I happily attend one just round the corner from the Louvre which seems to supply most of the local porn productions and gay bars with staff; not that I mind dealing with them when they’re off duty, you understand!
In my ventures out on the bar and club scene, I’ve been frequently reminded of the more liberal nature of Parisian life. Encountering topless bar staff is not a particularly new occurrence for me, but the show at the Raidd Bar was a rather pleasant surprise. It involves rather buff young men casually having a shower in a glass cubicle next to the bar. One can also find naturist bars where you can just let it all hang out while enjoying a bevy or two, or become better acquainted with like-minded fellows downstairs.
There are many amazing sights and adventures to be had in the City of Light, with many of them not mentioned in the guidebooks. Take the Day Hookers, for example. A courageous group of women, ranging from middle aged to grandma, who ply their wares in the not particularly forgiving daylight hours, while clad in outfits that Britney would reject as too trashy, and wearing enough make up to supply a circus full of clowns.
One can also not help but notice the overwhelming number of men in uniform patrolling the streets, with any number of uniform fetishes being catered for. I feel very secure with all the paratroopers, Gendarmerie and the ever talented rollerblading police hovering so close by. My favourites, without doubt, are the Pompiers (military fire fighters), although sadly their calendar is nowhere near as exciting as that published by certain French rugby players...
Unfortunately, it isn’t all baguettes and frivolity.
If one wishes to glimpse the dark side of humanity, you only has to take a peek at the Métro de Paris. It may be one of the most efficient and reliable public transport systems ever experienced, but during peak hour it’s every man, woman, child and poodle for themselves. Decorum and any sense of civility are forgotten if it means squeezing into an already crowded-to-bursting-point carriage. Admittedly there’ve been times when I haven’t minded rubbing up against a bunch of strangers, but invariably the attractive ones are always just out of reach, and no amount of pleading in French, English or Swahili will get people to move aside for you.
All in all it’s not such a bad life. Anyway, must dash: Pompiers to chase, tourists to scorn and frogs to eat!
SPOTLIGHT
Paris for beginners
The French capital, Paris was the first European capital to elect an openly gay mayor, Bertrand Delanoë, in March 2001.
Direct flights from Melbourne to Paris take 22 ½ hours, with one stop-over if travelling with Singapore Airlines, Malaysia Airlines and Emirates.
On June 28, 2008, the Marais district celebrates Paris Gay Pride, attracting more than 500,000 spectators and participants, as well as a series of parties, balls, and other events. The list of Pride Activities includes parties at such clubs as Gibus, Le Queen, Le Tango and Les Bains Douches - even Planet Hollywood!
La Champmeslé (4 rue Chabanais, 75002 Paris, near Metro Pyramides) was the first lesbian bar to open in Paris in the late 1970s. Today, it is still an institution, and one of the most popular and friendly lesbian bars. Other popular lesbian bars include Le 3eme Lieu (62 rue Quincampoix 75004 Paris - Metro Rambuteau) and the butch heaven, Unity Bar (176, rue Saint Martin, 75003 Paris - Metro Rambuteau).
Baguettes, policemen on rollerblades, and hookers who work by day - Paris has it all, writes Australian expatriate Jimi Goninan. 
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