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 The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse have sounded their trumpets. The stock market has crashed. Credit is tight. Commodity prices have dropped. Retailers are straining. It looks like times are about to get tough.
The crunch has certainly hit our little love nest. Hubby's work is drying up. I'd like to say it's because of the Global Financial Crisis, but it's really due to poor management by his bosses... but we'll leave that for a whole other day. Suffice to say, our income has dropped sharply, our buying power has evaporated and our weekly budget has gone from flush to flop.
So how does the Modern Gay Man cope with a recession? I was fabulously oblivious through the “recession we had to have” thanks to Ms Stolichnaya and her less-than-legal friends. That's not an option for me these days. But according to the ads on TV right now, a Citibank credit card apparently is. Not being one to let a good deal go by, I filled out the form online.
With that said, I'm not drowning my financial sorrows at the local shopping centre, no matter how much I'd love to. It's about reducing the interest payments on my current card. There's a 15% difference between this new card and the old one, and that's a serious saving on my minimum monthly payment.
At least that was the theory before their consultant called me and told me just how much credit they were willing to give me over and above my balance transfer. Flattered that they think so much of my ability to repay that money, I took every dirty dollar they were willing to give me.
I now have enough credit to single-handedly turn around the local economy. But I am terrified to use it!
Look around you. It's getting scary out there! Menswear stores are slashing prices by up to 60%. Cafés are reporting fewer customers. Hairdressers are selling fewer ridiculously-priced designer shampoos. Come to think of it, have you noticed how many guys have been getting buzz-cuts lately? They're either inspired by Rhys' victory on Make Me A Supermodel or it's simply cheaper to DIY with Mum's Breville clippers.
The first things that fell off our weekly shopping budget were dinners and drinks out. When your disposable income takes a pounding, so do your favourite local licensed establishments. Next it was the broadband plan. The $150 per month Super Plan has become a leaner, meaner $99.95. Which has naturally affected our Pay-Per-View porn. Less bandwidth equals less time to view our favourite boys doing what they do best.
That's when it really struck home. Is this global financial crisis making us, ahem, sensible?
Could I, if push came to shove, give up my favourite high-definition Pay Per View porn site just so I could save money?
We all cope in our own way when the economy takes a dive. That shiny new credit card ensures that I can cope in my own special way... alone with the boys of Randy Blue... and a well-stocked box of Aloe Vera infused Kleenex.
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