The photo in OK Magazine showed greying temples and crows feet.
I called everyone I knew and told them to buy that edition so that they could finally feel free.
Even Brad Pitt is losing his looks.
Far better writers than I have tackled the ageing process in gay men. I can only call on my own experiences and observations. Enter my mate, Marcel. He's depressed right now because no one wants to be his boyfriend. Or rather, no one in his target demographic wants to be his boyfriend. Marcel is 56. His target demographic is 21.
He gets nothing at Flamingos. Nothing at Diva. Nothing at Kaos Cafe. Nothing on Gaydar. Nothing when he goes to Melbourne for a blow-out weekend. He gets plenty of offers. Just none from anyone under the age of 25.
I wish there was an easy way to explain the intricacies of demographics to him.
In my commercial radio day-job, we obsess over demographics. If something in the market changes, even slightly, we counter the move with something to keep us relevant and appealing to our target. But if our target is being attacked by several other players who are better-resourced and better-positioned to appeal to that target, then we look at shifting our target to something we can realistically reach. We can't be Number 1 to everybody. But we can be Number 1 to somebody.
You can't reach the 18-25 segment playing Carole King, the Commodores and Neil Diamond.
A part of Marcel understands this. Which explains why he listens to Chris Brown in the car, plays his PS3 religiously, has a Prada mobile phone and makes frequent references to “bling” and “noobs” whilst furiously typing “w00t” and “OMG! WTF? LOL!” into his Facebook chat window.
Let's do a bit of work on the abacus: 400,000 people in Tasmania. 200,000 men. 20,000 have at some point had sex with a man. 10,000 are exclusively same-gender attracted. 5000 are single. 2500 would sleep with a guy a bit older than them. 250 would sleep with a guy quite a bit older than them. 25 would sleep with a guy significantly older than them. 13 of them are in Hobart. 5 of them have Gaydar accounts. 3 of them would go to Flamingos, Diva or Kaos. Only one is there when you are. And chances are that he's being picked-up by someone younger because, although he would have a go with you, he doesn't have to... at least until he's 56.
Demographics is not just a study in marketing, it's a study in life. Such a massive part of my job is making sure that everything I say, everything I do and everything I write fits my target demographic. Likewise, everything that I am outside my work is designed to fit my other target demographics, namely, my primary target of 33-year-old, white gay male (the hubby), my secondary target of men and women 25-39 (where most of my friends are placed) and my tertiary target of men and women 55-65 years old (my parents).
There is nothing wrong with being “niche”. Just don't expect to get a lot of play when you're excluding 99.9999 per cent of the available market.
Brad Pitt is finally starting to look old.
Show/Hide comments
Show/Hide comment form
